Four years ago, I dropped out from university. It took a long time before I could even think positively about my future. Until finally, I decided that I wanted to go back and try again. Only this time, it was to do a course that followed my dreams and passions rather than one I thought was expected of me.
Last Saturday, I submitted all of my final work and can now say I have made it to the end. Despite everything life has thrown at me, I have finally made it to finishing university. Deciding to go back was the best decision I could have ever made.
The first time around, I let myself be swept up in the pressure: school, parents (although they’ve been nothing but supportive). I never stopped to think about what I wanted. To say the results weren’t pretty was an understatement. Even last summer I was fighting serious lows that I couldn’t shake off. It changed everything I thought about myself and I had no self-belief or even the slightest shred of confidence.
A few hours after submitting everything, the impact of what I had just done hit me. The confidence surge I received from that and my general desire to go out and show the world (and myself) that they had been wrong about me was almost overwhelming. I have never felt so determined in my life, so adamant for the first time in a while that I was going to make my dreams come true, no matter what.
So now I am back at home again, surrounded by boxes that have been my university life for the last three years and trying to work out where I’m going to find space for all of these things. It does feel strange that I won’t be packing up in September to go back for a new term. But at the same time, I feel ready. I feel like it’s time to discover precisely who it is I have become over the last three years and make the most of it. Between housing and health issues – as well as deciding to go back – I know it’s someone who will stubbornly refuse to give up.
The reason for writing this post today was that I wanted to say one thing: follow your dreams. It’s getting to the time of year where people might be thinking about their future as school/college/university comes to an end. It’s scary – I know I’m partly terrified of what is next. But we’ve made it this far and can handle anything else that might be thrown our way. For me personally, it’s about embracing what I can do for a change and stop focusing on the things I can’t. Easier said than done, I know.
But I’ve made it this far despite never thinking I will. So now it’s time to see how far I can get now I have the chance. I hope you do too – believe in yourself a little and it’s incredible what you can do.
A Rambling Reviewer 