Being Alone

Eating alone loses out on a lot of chatter.
Eating alone loses out on a lot of chatter.

After housing issues in my second year of university, I decided the best course of action would be to opt for a studio flat in my final year. No need to worry about anyone else’s mess or housemates being annoying pains. Just me. I thought it would be great.

For the most part, it has. Before Christmas, my timetable had me in uni three times a week and my part time job was the same. Although the days coincided, it meant I had three full days of being around other people. But this year, I don’t have my job. And my lectures are only twice a week. I’m not the type of person to always be out socialising, I have an intimate group of friends and if I’m honest, we don’t tend to do a lot.

So this year, I found myself dealing with something unexpected.

Loneliness.

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I’ve always been the type who is constantly emailing friends and having long conversations online late into the night. I thought it had always been enough. But when I found myself literally not speaking to anyone for five days of the week, I realised it was starting to get to me. I was lonely for the first time.

If I’m completely honest, I don’t really know what I did to try and get over it. I did arrange a couple of things with friends and catching up with them made a difference. I called home more times than I would have done previously and I buried myself in my work in order to pretend that everything was fine. But it started to be a struggle and when the Easter holidays came around, I was more relieved than I could say.

I suppose my point of this post is to show that even when you think you have made a decision that should benefit you, there will be problems. Everything comes at a price and even though it is much better here, I still have to deal with a lot of noise issues on top of being on my own. The key is to not let it get to you. I know I can handle this because there isn’t long left now before things will change. But if you’re in a situation where the end is not in sight, then it is best to try and tackle the problem. Ignoring it does not go away.

In my case, it should have been easily solved. No one need know I was lonely, because if people were there to tell, it meant I was out and about and therefore solving the problem. Not everything is that easy though and I know that although I will still not be the type to go out a lot (it’s simply not me and I won’t apologise for that), I do know in the future I will make more of an effort to make sure it doesn’t get to that stage again. All it takes is asking if one person wants a coffee and you’re sorted.

If only all of life’s problems were that easy to sort out.

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