I’m sure sitting here desperately trying to keep my eyes open isn’t the best way to end the month. I had so many plans of what I was going to do this evening – reviews to write, stories to sort out, articles to plan. But instead I’m fighting to stay awake. I’ve woken up early the last couple of days and I think I’m feeling it now.
It has been worth it though. Over the last two days, I feel like I have achieved more than I have got done for the rest of the month put together. One day I’m going to be able to write this end of the month post and actually have something to say. But health issues are still on-going, I still have no job and am still not doing too well with honestly calling myself a writer. I feel like I’m in exactly the same position as I was this time last month, only with a whole burst of frustration to throw into the mix.
So instead I’m going to focus on the positive things. I’ve started to get back to writing over the last couple of weeks. You would not believe the amount of times I nearly missed a blog post because I hadn’t got around to it. Although I haven’t caught up yet, I have finally read a few books and watched a film or two that I wish to review. I also have started writing articles and stories for the online student magazine as well. That is helping.
I seem to be completely hit and miss with my novel. I wrote some yesterday. Didn’t today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring? But… I’ve finally switched tablets again for my headaches. These new ones aren’t leaving me feeling like a zombie. It means even in the last couple of days, I already feel like I’ve not only achieved things, but I’ve been motivated and putting a plan in action. If I can carry it on, I might start rectifying this whole writing issue.
Job-hunting is soul-destroying and demoralising. Every time I feel like I take a step forward, it ends up going backwards again. It’s partly why I want to focus on my writing. Not only because it helps build my portfolio, but because it feels like the only thing I have right now. I wish university had helped give us more guidance about figuring out what we want to do. I’ve literally applied for over a hundred jobs now and I’m still sitting here unemployed.
I would love to say I hope next month’s wrap up will be more positive. But who knows? I am hoping to be able to continue with the writing progress I feel like I have made the last two days. If I can get to a point where I don’t feel like I’m constantly trying to play catch-up, it will help keep me motivated and determined rather than just hanging on by a thread.
How is everyone else doing?