Dear Diary…
It feels bizarre to be writing this sort of post on here. I run a secondary blog, one full of my fandom related things, and this is the sort of entry I put up weekly over there to figure out where I’m up to. I tried to avoid these rambling posts on here because they often end up as a rant.
Don’t worry, I’m determined this one won’t be like that.
The last week has been a challenge for me, one that I am relishing. I wanted to give up being so negative and complaining about everything for lent. Ideally, for life, but this works for now.
One way I have tried to do this is by walking home from work more rather than getting picked up. It allows me to forget about work and be in story planning mode by the time I get home. That makes me much more sociable around my family in the evening, even if I never put those story plans into action.
The main thing that has helped me, though, is completely scrapping my to-do list and starting again. It had got so out of hand that even if I had a month off work, I would never complete it. By starting again, I’m both challenged and inspired to complete the list each day, therefore allowing me to get more things done. The tasks I am now setting myself are actually achievable rather than nothing short of impossible. Rather than fretting over what I haven’t got done, for the first time in I don’t know how long, I’m actually feeling pleased with what I am managing.
Feeling satisfied with my day’s work is a great way of motivating myself to keep it up, it always has been. I nearly missed a post on here the other week because I had been feeling too sorry for myself to get it done. I managed to get it up on time and it performed relatively well – making me realise I was never going to get things done unless I stopped moping around and started working hard on the things that I want to do.
Do I know what it is I want? Honestly? No. But I know planning next month’s posts, getting some of the novel written and then going for a long soak in the bath is going to be taking a big step towards that. I feel if I say these things out loud (well, type them at least), I have more chance of actually achieving them because others know about it now.
I hope this post hasn’t turned into a rant. It is nice having new aspirations and finding ways that help me to work towards my dreams. It is too easy to let go of the things you want and lose yourself to the momentum of everyday life, even if that isn’t making you happy.
How about you? Is there anything you are striving towards at the moment? Let me know!
A Rambling Reviewer 