Please bear with me with this post. It is the most personal one I have done, but it feels like the right thing to do. I have read so many inspirational posts about people dealing with issues; anything from stress to mental illness. This week has been a momentous one for me and I wanted to share my experiences. Consider it my way of getting to know the girl behind the blog.
This year has been a bad one for me. Without going into specifics, events occurred that more or less broke me. I have since had a change of direction and am now looking forward to going back to university to start a Publishing Masters, which will hopefully help me land my dream career.
For the first time in months, I have actually felt the urge to look after myself this week. I have been awful with my skin-care routine and it has left my skin dry and a mess this summer. I made the decision with a face-mask last Saturday and have had a fantastic week actually using everything I should be. All the right cleansers, toners and moisturisers have been used daily and I’ve even made the point of moisturising after the shower/before bed. It sounds petty, but I can’t recall the last time I managed to do this for more than a day and the difference! I don’t feel I’m fighting a losing battle at the moment!
My next big thing was overcoming an OCD element. While I have never been told I officially have it, and compared to some I probably don’t, there are certain things that have a habit of taking over my life. Lately, that has been watching series. I don’t mean I’m always watching. I mean, I have loads on the go, episodes have to be watched in certain orders and new series started at set points. I wasn’t really getting through anything. But I made the decision to try and overcome that. I have since watched five episodes of the same series in a row without starting anything new. For me, this overcomes quite a block in my mind.
These are my two main achievements this week. You may read this and laugh, but for me, it has been a huge deal and made me feel I have confronted a few demons. My minor changes have been focusing on eating healthily (it’s not working very well, but at least I am trying!) and stopping requesting so many books. I want reading/reviewing to remain fun, not to feel as if I was swamped. To be honest, that was how it was getting. But I have now gone three days with no new books and not signing up to any book tours, so hopefully I am getting back in control.
So there you have it, an insight into my messed up world. I hope this changes continue so I am able to relax a little more. Does anyone have any advice/the same problems?
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A Rambling Reviewer 
Speaking from my own experience, once something has broken you it does feel shit. But you will eventually put yourself back together, as you are now, and the things that broke you end up being the things that make you, keep you strong next time you face a challenge. It’s been a hard year, but (this will sound crazy. I know) the time might come where you will be glad you had to face it, because of the strength and experience you gained from it.
You’ve had such a tough time that you will feel like breeze through your masters, because in comparison it’ll be so much better on so many levels. Even the hard parts will feel different, like a challenge to beat rather than overwhelming.
Chin up, you’re moving towards not backwards. It takes courage to say something isn’t working and overhaul your life without a plan in motion. Keep looking after yourself, you’re still recovering. And congratulations! 😀
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Aww, you nearly made me cry then!! Thank you!
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I hope everything works out and that you get into that master’s Publishing program. It’s hard to break into the publishing industry and I’ve often toyed with the idea of going back to school to do so too.
As for taking care of yourself, or just paying attention to yourself, I can relate to that. When things get stressful for me, I often forget to take the extra time to really care for myself other than doing my regular routine.
I hope things will get better for you.
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Thank you so much! I managed to get onto the course, so start next week, and had an interview for a part-time job yesterday, so fingers crossed that will mean everything will start to fall into place. Thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot!
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No problem. All the best on things being better.
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