Deary Diary: Positive Thinking

I haven’t written one of these since October. How things have changed!

Back then, I had only just started my job and was a couple of weeks into uni, wondering what I was doing and if I had made the right choice.

Now, I have been at my job for five months and have an essay, two presentations, an exam and a book proposal under my belt for uni. I’m frantically working towards my next set of deadlines right now.

I’ve been putting off writing this post until the last possible moment as I wanted it to be accurate. Things appear to be changing for me. During my holiday in January, I found something that had been missing for a long time.

My confidence.

Everything fell into place: I was happy with what I was achieving each day and I truly felt that I was on the right path. Considering what the last year has thrown at me, there are no words for how good that felt.

Admittedly, now that uni is fully underway again, that has slipped a little. Don’t ask me why but I can never believe in myself – which is why I am so incredibly grateful to those who are always there, bolstering me up and keeping me going.

But I don’t feel overwhelmed (Stressed: yes, Overwhelmed: no) the way I was before. I’m better at planning my days and focusing on what I have achieved rather than what I have missed out. I have smashed my record for the number of days in a row that I meet my to-do list target as well – it’s been a challenge and a half!

The main thing is that I still feel like I am on the right path. Now I just have to hope it continues and I can find a job.

In nearly all of my Dear Diary posts, I talk about wanting to be healthy and get fit. Well, I can proudly say that it isn’t just talk any longer. For the last month (maybe a little longer), I have been going to the gym three times a week. I have a work out twice and swim the third time. The best bit is that it is starting to get easier, meaning I must be getting fitter.

As for being healthy, I am attempting to eat healthily. Attempting being the right word because I am also failing. But hey, any extra portions of fruit and veg slipped in has to be a benefit, right?

For once, I feel the vicious cycle is slowly morphing into a positive spiral instead. If I’m honest, I’m excited to see what the next few months bring and whether life can properly start.

Things are always going to be hard and challenging – I’m my own worst enemy too much. But maybe, for once, I’m heading in the right direction.

This might be the most positive post I’ve written – I love it! How about for everyone else? How is life treating you?

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