Ramblings / Writing

Not meeting your resolutions – and why it doesn’t matter

Lindsey26 Comments

You know when you look back and realise you’re not meeting your resolutions? Well, that’s me right now.

No more excuses in 2020: it’s time to start fulfilling dreams.

Oh, the poor, naïve innocent me of last January, who hoped for a strong 2020.

As we’re coming to the end of the year, I took a look back, for curiosity’s sake, about how my goals for 2020 have gone.

Fair to say, they’ve failed. In spectacular ways.

It was interesting reading, though. They reflect a lot of what I mentioned in my post a couple of weeks ago: finding my way back to myself, and focusing on my passions again.

Not meeting your resolutions?

I’m a stubborn kinda gal. If I’ve said I’m going to do something, I won’t let go until it’s done.

Reading

Take my Goodreads challenge. I was adamant I would read 91 books this year. Then my commute vanished, taking my guaranteed reading time with it, and at the point of writing this post, I’m 17 books behind schedule, and 30 books off finishing it. It’s not going to happen.

Around June, it frustrated me. I still thought there was hope that I could complete it, and wanted to push myself. By October, I realised it didn’t matter.

Broken Resolutions
Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

Writing

I also said I was going to be a lot further with my novel. You’d think working from home would mean more time without losing hours on a train. But, as I know a lot of you have found, this year has taken an emotional toll, and I’m not always feeling up to battling stubborn characters after work.

Don’t get me wrong: I’m disappointed that I haven’t done more. This has been a dream, something I’ve tried working on for so long, that I feel I should be pushing myself.

But it doesn’t matter.

Since second lockdown, and the impact that has had on my emotional well-being, I’ve realised, for the first year ever, that not meeting a self-imposed target doesn’t matter. It’s a good incentive to stay focused, but that’s all. I refuse to write-off this year – good things have happened amongst the darkness – but I also won’t beat myself up over not reading 91 books.

I function better when I have a challenge – it’s how I’ve always been and I’m not going to apologise for that. But my goals for the rest of this year are slightly different:

  • Sort out a night time routine so I start sleeping better
  • Continue developing an exercise routine
  • Focus on self-care and looking after myself
  • Start journaling to help balance the mental strain
  • Let things go

We may only have a couple of weeks left, no time to get into decent habits. But I hope to use these moving forward: to have goals that focus on being the best version of myself. Everything else will fall into place if I get that right.

The purpose of this post isn’t to lament failed resolutions. It’s to say that if you’re not meeting your resolutions this year, it’s okay, it doesn’t matter.

Focus on what you need, right now, and everything else will come.

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26 thoughts on “Not meeting your resolutions – and why it doesn’t matter”

  1. Love, love, love this post. I totally agree. I think most people’s goals went out of the window this year and it really does not matter in the slightest. I always write my yearly goals as a note on my phone and i think I just deleted the note entirely by like April because I was like well I isn’t travelling to all these places or doing all this stuff now so there’s no point being disappointed in it. Although I think this is the case for any year. Goals are great to work towards but we need to remember how things change and circumstances might not have played out to allow you to achieve those goals but that’s OKAY like God isn’t going to strike you down cos you didn’t complete your Goodreads challenge xD

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  2. I completely agree that not meeting your resolutions doesn’t matter. As long as you have tried your best, that’s all that matters. I try to create an overall goal and then monthly mini ones.

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  3. This is SO important! I am already over the nonsense people are beating themselves up over as if we’ve all not had bigger things going on this year.

    I am certainly taking a very different approach to 2021!

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  4. I love the positivity in this post! Who would have thought this time last year what 2020 would bring! I think it’s important to go with the flow, and be kind to yourself. Great post!

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  5. I definitely feel a pull towards some goals for 2021 that I’ve really been made aware of this year and I’m looking forward to working on them, but as you said, if they don’t quite go to plan or I don’t meet them I’m not going to be upset with myself about it. There is always something to learn, even from things that don’t come to fruition. Thanks for this!

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  6. This is such an important post. I’m the type of person who feels upset with myself if I don’t meet my goals, but it’s so important to remember that at the end of the day it doesn’t matter if I don’t reach it by a certain time. I love the goals you’ve set yourself for the rest of the year too xx

    Hannah | https://luxuryblush.co.uk/

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  7. Yes! This is so true, and I’m glad you’ve broached this subject. I definitely think there’s something to be said for looking to improve your life in one way or another- but there should be no pressure whatever time of year it is.

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  9. I love this post! It is too easy to beat ourselves up over not meeting our goals. Sitting back and reevaluating our needs at any given time is a wonderful way to realize that sometimes we are the only things that matter.

    Thanks for sharing!

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  10. I stopped making resolutions years ago. Still, I usually have goals in mind that I try to accomplish or at least work toward reaching. Not sure how many of those I managed to accomplish this year either. Oh well. Doesn’t matter. 2020 has been rough on so many levels. I’ve had difficulty focusing, but I know I’m not alone. You’re so right. It IS okay. Thanks for the reminder to focus on what we need right now. May 2021 be kinder to us all.

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    • Definitely fingers crossed on next year being better. It can be hard wanting to achieve things and grow yourself, but not let it take over for sure. Thanks for the comment!

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  12. Yes! This is spot on. I think it’s been a bit of a write off year for most in terms of like resolutions and goals not being achieved. But there have been so many achievements nonetheless. We’ve all had to adapt and be resilient. We’ve had to do some major problem solving. We’ve had to find new ways to self-care, to care for others and so on.

    While you might not have hit your self imposed goals, you’ll have achieved so much more than you realise in an exceptionally difficult year so that’s something to celebrate. 🙂 Love your resolutions for next year. Wishing you a very happy new year – and with a little bit of luck, a much better one!

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    • You are SO right, we’ve all done so much more than we realise, even if it isn’t the types of goals that we’re used to setting for ourselves. Thank you so much – just hope I can stick to it now! Happy new year to you also!

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  13. Such an amazing post. It is often thought that the resolutions you make at the beginning of the year are set in stone. I don’t know how we always forget that life is unpredictable and that things can easily change and with that the way we act. I love this attitude of not putting too much pressure on yourself.

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

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  14. 2020 – is the year the rule book got thrown out. Therefore more than acceptable for those resolutions that weren’t met. Given the year 2020 was, would all of those resolutions have remained valid?

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  15. I know exactly what you mean by needing a challenge rather than a resolution and I loved reading this!! Honestly it’s so refreshing to see. I love that you’ll be taking up journaling x

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    • Thank you so much!! I’m not yet certain how to do the journaling properly but I really see the benefit in doing it and finding a way of focusing my thoughts. Thank you, lovely!

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  16. Yes – love this post! I’ve set goals for myself in the back of my mind but I’m completely aware that if I don’t complete them it doesn’t matter at all. I like the idea of challenging myself and having something to aim towards and focus on but I also know that if it doesn’t happen then it really doesn’t matter!

    Tash – A Girl with a View

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  17. I feel like lockdown has given me a new perspective on targets I set for myself too. This year has taught me that there are many things out there that are just completely out of our control. We need to start being nicer to ourselves and start practicing self-care a little more ❤

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  18. I love this post! It’s nice to set yourself targets and goals, but we all need a reminder every now and then that it’s okay if we don’t hit them. We have to be stop being so harsh on ourselves. It’s more important to celebrate any achievements we do make rather than dwelling on the ones we don’t. Happy New Year ❤

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  19. This was a great post! It’s important to remember in life at times, things really don’t matter–And that’s okay. Your current place is okay, just keep working towards that vision.

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    • Ooh I’ve just signed up for that. I’m just waiting on my Goodreads export, although that reminds me that it really should have been done by now, need to find where that has gone, aha. Thanks for the reminder! I look forward to seeing what Storygraph offer.

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