Revisiting Resolutions: December

For the final time in 2015, I’m having a look back at my resolutions and seeing how the year has ended. All in all, I would say that I managed to accomplish the majority of the plans. I graduated with a 1^st and now have a job. Sounds pretty good going if you ask me.

I sort of wish things had been easier. I’m finding myself longing for so much more now that I’ve got to this point and now spend my evenings and weekends rushed off my feet trying to chase down my dreams again rather than losing sight of them. It’s fair to say that graduating hasn’t been quite what I expected it to be.

Revisiting Resolutions: November

In a way, this is an odd month to be writing a wrap-up post for. For one thing, it has flown by like I don’t know what.

For another thing, I don’t really have a plan. I seem to have met my resolutions – job and health now having been almost sorted for a month now – and don’t seem to be doing anything outside of work. But despite it being bed time for me (I am not enjoying, nor will I ever get used to having to be up at 6am), I didn’t want to break tradition and not get this post done. So considering how tired I am, I apologise if it rambles.

I wanted instead to focus on what was happening with the blog. It seems bizarre that it is almost a year old. That is going to be a big focus of next year I think. Now that I am earning, I am hoping to be able to put some money into the blog, get a domain name, even have a redesign (if I can find something that I want, that is). I’m really enjoying how it is coming on, so I’m looking forward to taking that next step.

Revisiting Resolutions – October

I was reading through the wrap-up post of September when I was thinking of what to put for this month. I realise now how negative I was feeling about everything. Life is not easy when you’re in your early twenties – everyone has ideas of where you should be going and what you should be doing. I realise – looking back (isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing?) – that what is important is staying true to your dreams. To sticking to what you truly believe in.

For this month, my life has changed around.

Revisiting Resolutions: September

This is not an easy post to write. September has not been a fun month for me. I feel as if I am running out of time to truly meet the resolutions I set out for myself at the beginning of this year and I am no closer to achieving them.

Revisiting Resolutions… August

I’m sure sitting here desperately trying to keep my eyes open isn’t the best way to end the month. I had so many plans of what I was going to do this evening – reviews to write, stories to sort out, articles to plan. But instead I’m fighting to stay awake. I’ve woken up early the last couple of days and I think I’m feeling it now.

It has been worth it though. Over the last two days, I feel like I have achieved more than I have got done for the rest of the month put together. One day I’m going to be able to write this end of the month post and actually have something to say. But health issues are still on-going, I still have no job and am still not doing too well with honestly calling myself a writer. I feel like I’m in exactly the same position as I was this time last month, only with a whole burst of frustration to throw into the mix.

Revisiting Resolutions – July

Another whirlwind of a month has gone by. I wish I could say that everything has settled and life is in a good place right now. To be honest, not much has changed since last month. So much for working towards my New Year’s Resolutions and hoping that life will begin properly.

However, not everything has been doom and gloom. I’m really pleased with how things are progressing on here. I feel like I’m gaining more confidence with blogging and receiving the lovely comments that I do makes it feel worth it. So thank you to all of your who have ever taken the time to drop me a line and let me know what you thought.

Revisiting Resolutions (May)

This month has changed things for me. There is no more university. The official deadline was on the 12^th May. Typical me; I had handed everything in a few days early. I had to actually – I had an appointment at home on the 11^th. But it’s over. Finished. That chapter of my life is now closed and I guess it means I have fulfilled one of my New Year’s resolutions as one was to graduate. By the end of this week, I will know what my grade is as well. It’s terrifying! In all honesty, I can’t wait until this week is over because I feel like I’m walking on egg-shells a little at the moment.

Last month, I believed my writing was increasing. That no longer seems to be the case. It’s hard to judge. What was a lot then while dealing with university is not much now I have free time. I guess it is ticking along. I’m focusing more on my editing in terms of fanfictions to improve my writing style and continue to develop it in a space where I can receive feedback. I have also had a few novel sessions. But inspiration is lacking at the moment and unless things pick up, I certainly can’t claim to be a writer the way I wanted to. The only thing that has really gone according to plan is I have had a few blogging sessions since being home so things are running smoothly on here.

What else do I have on my list of resolutions? Health? I think it is getting there. The headaches that have been plaguing me all year are finally being investigated. Now that I am home, I’m making the point of eating healthily. I’m not sleeping brilliantly but again, I think that is waiting for results and the apprehension for that. Things are getting there. I need to get myself into a routine to keep it that way though.

There isn’t much to report for this month. It was such a huge deal to finish university. Then I had a week in France as a final uni trip. Even though I have been done for a few weeks, I’m still trying to recover from uni and sort out what I am doing with my life. I am completely redecorating my room at home with new furniture etc, so that is going to be good for a new start.

I guess this has been a transition month. The big changes I anticipated haven’t hit me yet. Intense job hunting starts this week as once I know what my grade is actually going to be, it makes applying a lot easier. I just have everything crossed something comes up soon in order to keep myself positive. I know how I get when things are in limbo and I’m scared all the progress I have made this year so far will be lost.

There, that is my confession for this month. How is everyone else?

Revisiting Resolutions (April)

If I had any superpower in the word right now, I think it would be to stop time. I had my final lecture of university today. My dissertation was handed in yesterday. How has it all come to the end already?

I know my initial resolutions for the year involved graduating, but I can’t believe it is practically at this point already. I have less than two weeks left. I’ve always looked forward to the end of university because it hasn’t been the best experience due to housing and health issues. However, now it has come to it, I’m not sure I am ready. I thought I would have been able to secure a job by this point, but have had no such luck. Therefore the future at the moment is just very wide and vast and I have no idea what direction I shall be walking in.

The first thing is to get everything under control in regards to my health. Luckily since Easter things have been a little better and that has made functioning like a human being easier. I never thought the day would come when I would be thrilled at being able to sit and work all day. But after the weeks of the headaches, it was such a blessing. I’m hoping the next few weeks will get everything sorted in regards to that and I can start building my strength back up again and proving that I am fine.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve also been able to increase my writing. Not nearly as much as I would have liked as I have just been simply too tired. But a few mornings have seen me having a writing session. Sometimes it has been for fanfiction, sometimes catching up on articles and reviews I haven’t had the chance to do. On other occasions, however, it has been writing more of the novel. Now that my dissertation is done, I really hope I can continue it to that standard and push myself. I don’t want to finish a writing degree only to find I am not writing anything. Besides, writing always relaxes me and puts me in a good mood and that in turn makes me productive for the rest of the day. If taking an hour out in the morning is what I need to get more done, then who am I to complain?

But for now the focus is just getting through these last few weeks. Something that is apparently being made even more of a challenge by the way that my laptop is deciding it doesn’t really want to work even though I only have a week left of university. I just have everything crossed right now that it plays nice although I do have a plan b in place just in case.

It’s going to be really interesting seeing what next month’s post brings. It will be the first new month of the rest of my life and that is a scary thought.

How is everyone else?

Revisiting Resolutions (March)

I wasn’t planning on writing this. I thought it would end up more of a moan than a blog post and that is not what I intend for this site. It’s hard looking back at the last month when it has resulted in illness, stress and rejection after rejection of jobs. Life feels a bit of a mess right now, there is no other way of explaining it.

Then I got thinking. There have been some positive things. By writing this post, it means I have stuck to my plan of writing a monthly post rather than letting it fall by the wayside. So this is me, scrabbling for some sort of control.

It is now a month until my dissertation is due in. I feel surprisingly calm about it. I have been fortunate enough to be able to write part of my novel for it. Having been tinkering away at it for the last two years, having the genuine excuse to sit and concentrate on it has been fantastic fun. I feel like I have learnt a lot about myself as a writer with editing it. Although I haven’t had the time yet, I hope once university is over, I keep up that level of dedication. Who knows, maybe I will finish it one day. It has reminded me why I wanted to write. There can be nothing greater than rediscovering a love of a hobby, especially in the name of work.

One of my favourite places for inspiration.

Due to my dissertation and another module where I have been forced (grimacing and wincing the whole way) to read through work from my first year, my main achievement this month is realising how far I’ve come. I’ve never looked back at that old work and the fact I’m cringing at it shows my style has changed. Am I any better? Who knows? Not me. But I’ve certainly changed and I’m sure that has to be positive.

My blog is now nearly four months old! I cannot believe how quickly time has gone. This month has seen a new layout and me finally including pictures. I’m learning more about how to optimise using social media. Although I have so many reviews queued up new ones are taking a while to filter though, they too are more focused. It will be nice when everything is carried over and it’s new content always going up.

So there we have it. My month. It’s only through writing this I’ve realised quite how much this month has focused on writing. I guess because things aren’t going well in other aspects (honestly, how are you supposed to even get to interview stage in this age of online applications?), I’ve been using it as an escape and a distraction.

For someone who was not planning to write this, I’m glad I have. It’s reminded me of the good things that have happened this month and there is always a way to keep holding them together if you try.

How is everyone else doing?

Revisiting Resolutions (February)

A month ago I was writing a post about how my year was going so far. Right now, I’m thinking more where is my year going rather than how. But here we are, at the end of February already. Time for a little reflection on how things have gone.

In two words?

Not great.

To be fair, it’s not entirely been my fault. The sinusitis that I started the month with is still around, even after two lots of antibiotics. I am now currently on three things for the next month in order to try and shift it. So that has meant rather a lot of feeling rubbish and not a lot of anything else because my head has decided to spend the month exploding rather than helping me make something of myself.

Things haven’t all been bad though. I had the terrifying first draft meeting for my dissertation and now know what I need to do. Of course, doing it is far easier said than done, but it’s underway. Getting into my character’s head is proving to have interesting consequences. It seems to put me in an extreme writing mood, so I’m certainly making the most of it. I’m hoping that I can find a structure that will allow me to work on the novel part of it around working on it for my dissertation. I’m not sure that makes sense. But they are one and the same, only the dissertation is just a small part of it.

What else? I know! I’ve been trying to do a few bits for me lately as well. I’ve splurged on a couple of things. I went to the cinema and planning to go again tomorrow (admittedly sort of relating it to uni work, but that’s not the point). Although that hasn’t exactly gone to plan either because of my head, but I’ve been trying to give myself some time out. I won’t be able to when work gets really crazy, but for now… Besides, going to the cinema is technically needed for my course.

Still no news on the job front, although not through lack of trying. I had a really good couple of hours last week and applied for five different jobs. Some are already no’s, just waiting to hear on the others and planning to have another session like that later today. The worst they can do is say no, so just going to apply and see what happens. After all, you never know.

I was also getting myself into a couple of habits that were getting to the point of obsessive. I’m trying to sort them out – one I gave up for lent and one I’m putting a plan of action in place as from today to see what happens. I don’t like feeling that something else is controlling me, and stopping one made me notice the other, so hopefully by the end of March everything will be in control.

So generally not a great month, but my determination is still there which has to count for something, right?

How is the year going for everyone else?